And So I Go: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Canada’s Latest Immigration Problems.

Posted on: September 22, 2010

I don’t often pass on emails to my readers but this one was just too funny.  BB  A thank you to my friend Fred. 🙂 BB

This is so funny. don’t know if it’s  for real but it sure sounds like it.

FW: Immigration problem in Canada

The  Manitoba Herald
as reported by Clive Runnels, August 1,  2010

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the  border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls  for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration. The recent  actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning  citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to
hunt, pray, and to  agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border  farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors,  animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at
night.

“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there  was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer  Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.

“The  producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could  spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have  any, he left
before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay,  eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield  erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then  installed loudspeakers that blared
Rush Limbaugh across the  fields.

“Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still  got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn’t  give any milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about  smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into  Volvo station wagons, and drive them
across the border where they  are simply left to fend for themselves.

“A lot of these  people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario  border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle
of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley  cabernet, though.”

When liberals are caught, they’re sent  back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear  retribution from conservatives. Rumors have
been circulating about  plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be  forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In  recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the  border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus  trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a  half- dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian  immigration authorities began
stopping buses and quizzing the  supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to  prove that they were alive in the ’50s.

“If they can’t  identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become  very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian  citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an  organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore  movies.
“I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian  economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many  art-history majors
does one country need?”

In an effort to  ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President  Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the  administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close  to President Obama said, “We’re going to have some Paul McCartney  and Peter,
Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some  endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to  reach out,” he said.

3 Responses to "Canada’s Latest Immigration Problems."

Thanks brenda for sharing this news. It was very helpful. I appreciate your efforts. Well done.

I do my best Canada. 🙂 BB

Someone in ontario canada stole my email. My name is brenda bowers from Tennessee usa. Was this you?

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