And So I Go: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Casual Attitudes towards Sex and Marriage Destroying Future of Our Children? You BET!

Posted on: December 27, 2010

Tea Party Burlesque – Kathryn Jean Lopez – National Review Online.

People I do not think of myself as a prude.  Never have been and never will be.  I see no harm in sexual activities between two consenting RESPONSIBLE adults. RESPONSIBLE meaning willing and ABLE to accept and cope with any consequences.   I do believe that children by the time they are in their early teens should have some sex education that should certainly include how  diseases and pregnancy are avoided.  Especially the diseases.   Unfortunately the home is not always willing to discuss these matters so it becomes the place of the schools to provide this information.  Even in the early 1950’s our Junior High physical education teacher taught some of these issues that were personal hygiene in nature.

But culture has gone simply too too far in our hedonistic attitudes from our language to our dress and certainly to our attitudes and these are destroying the future of our children.    And the destruction is not just  in the attitudes passed on about sex and marriage but about life choices in general.  Children raised in families with only one parent and with lax attitudes about marriage or the importance of the guidance of  a father in the family are deprived in every possible way from their own causal attitudes towards sex to casual attitudes towards education and work and life in general.  We are killing our children and sending them back to a time before civilization where males casually mated with females only then to leave  them to shift for themselves and any young produced from that mating .  Then the women being overwhelmed by the responsibility (and also influenced by the casual attitudes of society) left their  young to shift for themselves and so on and so on.  Look at the animal kingdom.  This is where we as human beings are headed in masses growing greater every  generation.

We need to change this somehow.  If not for ourselves then certainly for our children.  I know of no parents who do not love their children.  There are a small percentage of humans who are sociopathic and do not love anyone including their children, but almost all parents love their children.  Why then will we not change our lives for our children’s sake now that we have seen where our choices have led our children.    It is time for those of us who have sat on the sidelines and bought into that “non-judgmental” attitude towards bad behavior to step up and say NO! this is wrong.  We can not make any of this a crime because we Americans do believe all individuals are free to make their own choices but we can certainly not condone it by supporting it, buying it or paying for it in welfare.


As far as children are concerned I personally have felt for a long time that our money would go a lot towards the good of the child in taking them out of  bad homes living on welfare and placing them in children’s homes.   orphanages got a bad rap  and were indeed bad places in some cases in the late 19th and early 20th century, but today’s children’s homes are a far cry from that era.  They are infinitely better than one family welfare ghetto homes.   Just a thought and a concern for children being raised in  homes where drugs and casual attitudes towards life are the way of life.   BB


December 27, 2010 12:00 A.M.

Tea Party Burlesque
Wanting more

‘It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk, and I need you now.” It shouldn’t come as a surprise that a year that included that chorus line in one of its hottest country-music hits would end with a controversy over a Dancing with the Stars country gal going a few steps too far.

Julianne Hough’s striptease-acrobatics video “Is That So Wrong?” is wrong in more ways than one. And the primary one isn’t the scantily clad gyration. Hough, who also appears in the movie Burlesque, sings: “Doesn’t everybody just want to feel somebody? Just wanna hold someone to fill that empty space? When you’re missing that rush and a friend’s not enough?” She declares, “I just can’t deal.” “No tonight I just don’t wanna be alone. . . .  You can let it go, lose control, and I promise it won’t hurt. . . .  So throw it on the floor, I just can’t wait anymore.” You’ve, needless to say, seen more graphic, heard more graphic (probably without even trying to).  As you open your e-mail inbox or walk into a deli for a sandwich, you’ll encounter ruder awakenings. But in a genre frequently — although by no means always — known for uplifting messages about faith, family, and freedom, Hough’s video comes at a time when Americans are drawing lines in the sand politically. That’s what the Tea Party movement has been about. And we ought to be drawing lines culturally, too. Because these things are not unrelated.

As young men and women reach for whomever to satisfy a feeling — divorcing sex not only from commitment but sometimes from even an illusory sense of love — their choices will have long-term impacts. Discussing his new study, “When Marriage Disappears: The Retreat from Marriage in Middle America,” W. Bradford Wilcox recently told me, “We are witnessing the emergence of a whole new class of communities — especially in rural and small-town America, and the outer suburbs — where scores of children and young men are growing up apart from the civilizing power of marriage and a stable family life.” He continued, “This does not bode well for the economic and social health of these communities. . . . . Among children in middle America, family breakdown typically doubles delinquency, drug use, psychological problems, and teenage pregnancy. Children who grow up without two married parents are also significantly less likely to do well in school, to graduate from college, and to hold down a steady job later in life.” Children naturally learn from the models they encounter at home; but with children being fed — according to the Kaiser Family Foundation — 75 hours of popular entertainment every week, pop culture does matter. And a cautionary word to those of you who have kept television and video games and the like out of your homes: Unless your child is an island, he will be influenced by these poisons, directly or indirectly.

There is, of course, good and uplifting work being done in popular culture. And as consumers of these products — or simply concerned citizens involuntarily coexisting with them — we should encourage the good. Listening to, and watching, Miss Hough’s “Is That So Wrong?” it’s hard for a country-music fan not to think of myriad other songs that reach for a firm foundation, a moral core, an ideal. This year also brought us such songs as Miranda Lambert’s “The House that Built Me.” She sings of feelings, too, and a little bit of the same journey Miss Hough seems to sing of. Going back to the home she was raised in, as the title implies, Lambert sings: “I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing/ Out here it’s like I’m someone else/ I thought that maybe I could find myself/ If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave/ Won’t take nothing but a memory/ From the house that built me.”

When you’re on the verge of forgetting why you’re here, on the verge of or in the wake of a bad choice, it’s not a bad message to hear. Julianne Hough is perfectly free, of course, to sing such songs and make such videos as she has. But we don’t have to applaud it. We can ask more of our entertainment.

It’s like a broken record: Good girls in pop culture tend to go wild. It’s considered a commercial matter of broadening any young woman’s commercial appeal, as an act of independence and maturity. But real independence and maturity lie in countering that perverse message. Actual independence and maturity is having the good sense to embrace time-tested virtues. There’s wisdom in looking for healing, as Lambert sings — for true fulfillment, not a stop-gap rush.

In their 75 hours a week of pop entertainment, I want young men and women to hear songs about, say, a girl who knows she doesn’t have to settle, or how they can have more than they’ve seen modeled around them in their own lives, or how they can be made of the strong stuff of true commitment and love.

It’s throw-down time. It’s not about Left or Right or religious or secular. It’s about wanting better, always, for ourselves and for those we love. Out with any cultural influence that doesn’t inspire. Who has time for anything else? Why would we make time for that? Why wouldn’t we do everything in our power to make sure girls and boys know they don’t deserve anything less? Is that so wrong?

— Kathryn Jean Lopez is an editor-at-large of National Review Online. She can be reached at This column is available exclusively through United Media.


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